overdrive we're going life or death

Sometimes I’m pretty sure that I’m bipolar. The lows can get really low and the highs can get really high. The past few days have been like a hyper manic haze, which is (to be honest) really nice. I don’t really know how best to explain it, but I’ve been really… “on” the past few days. My mind seems to be really clear and sharp and colors are really bright and I’m really fast and everything seems really extreme and heightened. Seriously, I’ve been so ridiculously (and mysteriously) happy and I’ve been making so many plans and taking care of so many different things that I really just don’t want this to end. Actually, if I didn’t know better (and I do; trust me, it’s 100% impossible), I’d think I was pregnant.  Not because I’ve been gaining weight or anything, but because colors seem extra vibrant and bright and smells are stronger, and I suddenly have so much clarity and at the same time, every single day I’ve been having huge stomach pains and feeling like I’m going to throw up.  Maybe my body is just really confused…
 
Anyways, yesterday was a much better gym day. I only ran a half mile more than the previous day, but I ran at .2 mph faster than usual for the entire duration and then put myself through a myriad of weights and mat exercises.  I felt pretty good the entire time, but once I settled down to go to sleep, my stomach killed me. Plus, my heart was racing. For some reason, I’ve lived in perpetual fear of a heart attack since I was 19, and the tiniest thing sends me into a panic about it, so I was pretty freaked last night. I just could not get my heart rate down and make my stomach stop hurting. I finally fell asleep about 2 hours after I had lain down.
 
Today I tried something new! Lori let me try some of her V8 Butternut Squash Soup. It was surprisingly yummy! I’d never had butternut squash anything before and it didn’t disappoint. I have to say, though, I’m a sucker for almost any soup. Seriously, I don’t really like veggies all that much, but I’ll totally scarf down a big bowl of vegetable soup. Same with the split pea soup – I’m pretty much addicted to the stuff these days and I HATE peas! (Though I don’t think the soup tastes like peas at all, thank goodness!) I’m really excited about buying some of the butternut squash soup for myself, and I’m even considering butternut squash fries since I’ve seen them on some blogs. I assume they’d be similar to sweet potato fries? Yummm…
 
Tonight should be a volleyball night, but we have our bye week… and next week starts the playoffs – we have yet another bye week because (yes, again) we are #1 in our division!  Let’s hope we don’t biff it all up in the finals like last season… I’m really excited because my team’s going to watch the other teams play tonight and then we might go to Hemingway’s afterwards! I haven’t been to Hemingways in, like, forever, and though it’s not healthy by any means, it is yummy bar food (especially at half-price, which is when we’re potentially going!). I do have a beef with PUMP (Pittsburgh Urban Magnet Project) and PSL (Pittsburgh Sports League), though. I just found out today that PUMP members are no longer going to receive the discounted rate of $10 per sport. Oh, and it was really nice of them to inform the members of this instead of just sneaking it into the FAQs for registration… It really ticks me off because that’s the only reason why I’m a PUMP member – I don’t live in the city anymore, so I don’t really have any reason to attend their political meetings and I don’t work downtown, so I can never make it to their happy hours. So now volleyball is going to cost me an extra $10 per league – and we’re doing both the rec league (which we’ve been doing) and the competitive league (movin’ on up!) this coming season. That’s an extra $20 that I don’t have. It really makes me want to quit the PSL leagues, especially since their nets are crap, but really the only other option is Sports Monster, which is a complete cluster in its own right. So I have to suck it up and find some way to get that extra cash… Ideas?

I really, really, REALLY feel like I'm going to puke. I think maybe my daily spinach salad is working against me. I think that's what the stomach pains have been for the past week. Whatever it is, I'm in PAIN and I'm going to keep my head on the desk for the rest of the day. I'm determined to not go home early.

Peace out.